Relax

"It is a beauteous evening, calm and free, breathless with adoration; the broad sun is sinking down in its tranquility..." William Wordsworth.

The day consists of the following- waking up at precisely whatever o'clock, wandering past the largest swimming pool in India to breakfast, where more staff stand around with nothing to do than there are hotel guests. This is followed by 5 hours of poolside lazing, lunch at the seafood restaurant on the Goan beach front, a few quiet drinks in front of the tv with Jack Daniels, then an exquisite, authentic curry at one of the dozen resort restaurants. Relaxed? Perhaps surprisingly, no.

I find it challenging, to say the least, to find that point where I'm able to let the grind of the day-to-day be left in the past. It's not through a lack of trying. It's almost as if all the things I don't have time to be concerned with back in my 'normal life' come to the fore when I'm not at work. What exactly is the basis of this concern? Everything. And nothing. There's no single worry, as such, but rather a lot of small things that add up. "Did I lock the door as I left?", "Did I leave contact details?", "Have I enough underwear to last the holiday, or will I need to do laundry?", and of course "Did I remember to pack any underwear in the first place?".
I begin to wonder "Am I normal?Why can't I just enjoy the holiday- which in essence is the act of living in absence of such worries. In that case, I believe, a holiday could be a day on the couch at home- if you can relax and leave your concerns some place else, then that's as good as a holiday. The fact that, at the moment, I am fortunate enough to be in a wonderful part of the world without a care, leaves me with absolutely no excuse to be concerned about anything.

I'll try to relax now, and I'll worry about it tomorrow.

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